First of all, the title: "Not all who wonder are lost." This is a fragment from a poem by J.R.R Tolkien (which appears in the Fellowship of the Ring). The stanza from which I snatched my title follows:
Which brings us to today. I want to be a man of God. I want to have deep roots that cannot be reached by the frost. Most days, however, I still feel stuck somewhere in between the man to whom I've been called and the boy I used to be. However, I'm tired of being scared, preoccupied, insecure, worried, and anxious. God has already redeemed me from that crap. He has stripped away those slavery inducing emotions from my heart, so why do I keep returning to them? Yes, the road away from these things is hard, but it is straight. And I praise God, for the hope of my maturation rests not in my ability to overcome, but on the faithfulness of my heavenly Father. And when I pray, I know can ask boldly for I know these things because I have certainty that they are in His will. That being said, I also long to couple my prayers with action. Not letting a day go past without being in the Bible and hitting the floor in prayer, refusing to let fear dictate my social interactions, and fighting my old childish habits until they die, these are the actions that I want to be able to reflect on as I go to bed each night.
The best part of it all? It is not just for me. The fight for manhood is for my family, my future spouse (if God brings one), and the Kingdom of God. And that reality gets me jazzed up. Plus, I know He's got it! The Holy Spirit doesn't start something without the intention of finishing it. I just ask that you would have patience with me, knowing me its still going to be a long road!
Lastly, The background: the background of my blog is white. White represents simplicity and purity, both of with which I long to characterize myself. I don't need to be a mystery anymore, and I am learning that not every part of me needs to say something. Furthermore, the color white seems like a static color. There is no question of gradation or shade with it: it just is. I want to be like the color white.